Girls Talk Boys listen
by LuckyDetective
Summary: The ladies talk about love and butts while the guys secretly listen
1. Chapter 1

Girls talk (and the boys listen)

by LuckyDetective

Disclaimer: Owned by Marvel and currently editing and re-writing part 3 of Stay Bruce story

(and I'm sorry this isn't beta)

The ladies of the Avengers decided to take some time for themselves on nice lunch together at a nearby cafe.

"You can see Stark towers from here" Pepper smiled as they all sat down. A pretty waitress came to take their orders and told them that this table was a customer favorite because sometimes you can catch a glimpse of Iron Man flying out from the tower. After the waitress left, all of them looked at the tower.

"As if Tony's ego wasn't big enough as it is" Pepper said. "It'll enlarge if he knew people would sit here just to see him"

"Speaking of big..." Jane Foster smiled. "Is Tony..." Pepper laughed.

"To be honest is not the size, but how he...thrust" Pepper grinned and women looked at her in shock.

"You mean Tony is...small?" Betty Ross asked innocently. Pepper gave her a smirk.

"Again is not about size here. I mean I have dated men who were...larger in that department but Tony certainly knows how to...use it. And he uses it well" Pepper looked at Jane and asked "What about Thor?"

"Thor I can honestly say is definitely a god" Jane said. "Not only does he have the thrust, but well he got the whole package. Just he seems a bit inexperience"

"Really?" Betty asked. "For a demi-god?"

"I had to guide him" Jane sighed. "Not to quick but certainly worth it. Really worth it" Jane grinned.

And what about Dr. Banner? From what I hear about him, he seems so quiet. Is more of a wild man in bed?" Betty laughed and remember when they first did it, Bruce was so tender.

"Bruce...when we were able to do it, he was so gentle and attentive" Betty sighed. "Once when we woke up together, we were facing each other. He took my hand, kiss it to say good morning."

"So what do you guys do now?" Jane asked.

"We just cuddle" Betty sighed again. "Though I wouldn't mind if he did turn into the "other guy". Even when he is the Hulk, he still so gentle."

"Doesn't it seem odd that everything else gets destroy but not his pants" Jane said thoughtfully. "I mean what kind of pants does he wear?" The women nodded, it seems while the rest of Bruce's clothes are torn off, his pants not only stay on but seem to form with his new large form. And he usually doesn't wear sketchy pants.

"I don't mind seeing him without pants" Betty said dreamily. "I bet that also gets big"

"As Bruce he has a cute butt" Natasha said and everyone looked at her.

"Is just something I observed. They all have cute butts, especially Rogers." All the ladies nodded in agreement.

"Is so round" Jane giggled. "Don't you want to slap it?"

"You have no idea how many times I had to restrain myself" Pepper grinned. "Tony has a nice butt too, but it doesn't look anything like Steve's"

"Is been awhile since I touched Bruce's butt" Betty said. "I would love to slap the Hulk's butt"

"What about Clint?" Pepper asked.

"Firm" Natasha smiled. "Very firm"

Meanwhile, unknown to the ladies, Tony Stark planted a bug in Pepper's purse. Just as Pepper and the ladies were on their way out, Tony ordered Dummy to plant a bug in Pepper's purse while he would distract her by pull off his shirt in front of her. It worked as Pepper was too busy telling Tony to stop showing off his ability to move his nipples to notice what Dummy was doing. Once the women were gone, the men all gather together in one room. Tony filled them in what he did.

"I can't believe we're doing this!" Bruce said but remained in the same room as the rest of the guys.

"Whine later about it, I want to hear this" Tony hushed Bruce. Steve rolled his eyes. They listened as the ladies talked.

"Don't tell me Pepper been with someone that's...bigger?" Tony said in horror and the guys snickered quietly. But Rogers just looked confused.

"Bigger?" Roger didn't get that reference.

"Um what that what means is that -"

"Tony's pee wee is a weenie compare to the other guys Pepper dated" Clint said, cutting off Bruce in the process. Bruce sighed as Steve finally understood the reference with the look of horror on his face.

Tony glared at Clint.

"I bet my weenie is bigger then your tiny sausage" Tony said to Clint who just shushed him in return.

"Jane...why must you speak of this matter with others?" Thor said sadly as he recalled his embarrassment in the midst of passion.

"Oh my god Betty" Bruce said as he couldn't believe she wants to see the Hulk pant-less. "And the pants doesn't always stay on..." That earned him stares from the guys and then all the guys glared at Steve as they heard what the ladies thought about their butts.

"How could Pepper like Steve's butt the best?" Tony was flabbergasted

"Oh Betty, no. No you don't want to slap the other guy's butt!" Bruce said in shocked and he can feel in his mind the Hulk wanting to be slap by Betty. Bruce sighed.

"My...butt?" Steve blushed but was secretly happy.

"Cool, I got a firm butt" Clint grinned.

The end?


	2. Chapter 2

Girls talk, Boys listen, Girls get shopping trip

by LuckyDetective

Disclaimer: Own by Marvel and Disney. And I ship Steve x Natasha

Author's note: back by popular demand and be sure to check out "Girls Talk, Boys listen" as I redid the chapter again for those who didn't see.

"I guess I should call you now Captain who all our girlfriend want to slap his ass America" Tony narrowed his eyes at Steve who rolled his eyes.

"At least your behind is safe" Steve countered. "Now I feel like I have to watch my back around them or one of them will slap my behind"

"I wish Pepper would slap my butt" Tony sighed "I can't believe she likes your butt better" Steve just stared at Tony.

"Don't forget the fact Pepper had bigger weenies" added the ever so helpful Clint with a smile.

"Thank you Clint" Bruce rolled his eyes while Tony sighed.

"While it is true the ladies prefer the behind of Captain America, it may have been for the best we should have not listen on to their conversation to begin with. Knowing too much of what they would not voice to us could sow seeds of discord among us" Thor said thoughtfully.

"So is agreed we never do this again and let's hope they never found out" Steve said. Bruce then added

"Activate the self-destruction on the bug Tony. You don't want them found out about it."

"Fine" Tony agreed as he turn on the bug instead. Before anyone could object to it, Jane asked everyone a question that everyone seemed interested in hearing the answer. Everyone expect for Steve who wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer to.

"Anyone else you ladies like to have a one night stand with, given the chance?" Jane asked. Everyone looked at each other.

"I like to try Tony's "wave"" Jane smiled.

"And I would like to try Thor's hammer" Pepper countered.

"I like to be Roger's first" Natasha smiled a cat like smile.

"What about you Betty?" Pepper asked and Betty just shrugged.

"To be honest I don't know and I feel bad thinking of that. Given Bruce's condition" Betty sighed sadly.

"Is your boyfriend not good in the sack?"

Everyone turn to the voice a older man approaching Betty. Betty turn around to look at them.

"Can I help you?" Natasha asked him calmly.

"How about I get your name and your number" the man winked at Betty.

"I'm happily taken" Betty smiled at him.

"Doesn't your boyfriend have some kind of condition. What is he impotent or something?" There was a awful silence that suddenly fell on the group. All the ladies looked at each other and were thinking the same thought "thank god Bruce didn't hear that or he would be flat as a pancake.

"Excuse me!" Betty glared at the rude man and before Betty could say anything else, there was a loud crash and loud thunderous voice that boomed:

"HULK MAKE YOU IMPOTENT!"

The whole room was silent as random guy who didn't know he had a death wish just accused Bruce of being impotent. Tony ran out the door to be suited up while the rest watched as Bruce just snapped and turn green with rage. Of course they could have tried to say something, anything but instead took a step back and watch as Hulk leap out of the window with Iron Man flying after him. Thor swing his hammer and Rogers hanged on to him as they both went after them. Clint stayed behind as he reasoned A) they got the Hulk B) he gets to listen in on them as the ladies will no doubt figure out Tony bugged them.

Iron Man was able to grab Hulk in time before he landed, thereby preventing a Hulk crater from being made. The ladies stared as Hulk dangled in mid-air with Iron man holding on to him. Meanwhile the guy stared in horror.

"Easy big guy" Iron man soothed Hulk who kept trying to make a grab at the guy that made that impotent comment. Betty smirked as she noticed the guy was on the floor with a noticeable wet patch on his pants.

"Tin man let go Hulk. Hulk wants to smash puny human to mush" Hulk growled at the man who looked like he was seeing his life flash before his eyes.

"Wait a minute! How did you know what he said?" Betty glared at Hulk. Hulk looked at Betty in surprise and then looked down.

"Hulk don't know" Hulk pouted and Betty glared at him and Hulk looked on the floor.

"Hulk sorry" Hulk said sadly while Betty continued to glare.

"Were you guys listening to us?!" Betty asked the pouting Hulk.

"It was Tin man's idea" Hulk said. "Tin man put bug in pretty red hair bag"

"Oh thanks a lot big guy!" Iron man yelled. "The incredible telltale!

"Don't yell at him and call him names!" Betty scolded Iron man while Hulk looked at the ground sadly.

"I can't believe you guys were listening to us!" Jane said. Pepper instantly looked into her pursue to find the bug and crushed it. She stalked towards Iron man as he gently let go of the Hulk who made a large dent on the pavement.

"Tony..." Pepper narrowed her eyes at him as Tony held up his hands.

"How about we all go shopping...in Paris...hell...why not all over the world...on my credit card." Tony backed away from angry Pepper.

"Tony if you think you can...well..." Pepper smiled "That does sound nice. And you guys can hold our bags" Meanwhile Thor arrived with Steve in tow. Hulk continue to look sad then Betty gently patted his head.

"Is okay Bruce" Betty said softly seeing a sad Hulk was too much. It was like a large baby. "I forgive you." Hulk smiled at Betty and she kissed him on the top of the head.

"Forgive us Jane" Thor kneeled before Jane once he and Steve landed safety.

"Curiosity got the better of us. All I can do is beg for your forgiveness" Jane smiled. She had to admit, part of her attraction to Thor was how he talks.

"You are forgiven" Jane said charitable. "I need someone to help me carry my bags as Tony so generously offered a shopping spree around the world."

"Did you listen as well?" Natasha asked Steve.

"I'm afraid so" Steve answered. "I'll be careful around you ladies, seeing how everyone loves my behind."

"Oh you don't need to worry. I'll be glad to watch over it" Natasha smiled and held out her arm to Steve.

"While everyone else can enjoy the shopping spree, why don't you show me around NY city as if it was still 1940s?" Steve took her arm and smiled.

"Sure."


	3. Mini Chapter 3

Mini Chapter 3: Girls plot and so do boys

(Back by popular demand, and this just to show I am working on it. Also Marvel owns the characters)

Operation: Get Black Widow be Captain America's first was underway. Natasha and Clint have been planning for this for a while now.

"Sooo we still on for tonight Clint?" Bobbi aka Songbird called Clint.

"Sorry still working with Nat on project get happy with America" Clint responded.

"Well when Nat has America in and out of her as plan, call me" Bobbi hung up. Clint chuckled, hopefully Capt would be singing America the beautiful when this works out.

Natasha couldn't believe how much Steve knew about New York. He could be a tour guild or a history teacher Natasha realized as Steve went on and went about something. He wasn't boring but this wasn't going as plan either.

"How about you tell me about it over dinner?" Natasha smiled at Steve after he finish going on about a minor detail of his childhood or something like that.

"Well I know or rather knew a great place in Brooklyn. Maybe is still there" Steve smiled sheepishly. Natasha agreed while in the back of her mind she was determined to nail his ass and successfully end get Happy with America operation.

"Oh my god what did I eat?" Bruce was on the bed with a painful stomach ache. Betty smooth his hair.

"Oh sweetie" Betty kissed his forehead. "You ate a 10 feet lollipop as the Hulk" Bruce couldn't believe she said it so calmly too.

"By the way, that lollipop cost me as much as a new Iron man suit" Tony smirked. The group currently is in a nice hotel in Paris.

"Why did the other guy eat a 10 feet lollipop?" Bruce asked

"Because I wanted to film it and put it on youtube" Tony smirked widen. Bruce knew exactly what he wanted to do with that annoying smirk and that was to shove it up his….

"Ouch" Bruce groaned and Betty hugged him

"Don't worry the doctor is coming over soon" Betty cuddled Bruce.

"You're so dead Stark" Bruce narrowed his eyes at Tony.

"What was that? Can't hear you over the million views on youtube!"

"Soon Stark…very soon"


End file.
